


Losing Appa

by rempow



Series: Assortment of Avatar Tales [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Broken Bones, Hurt No Comfort, Toph Beifong-centric, minor tho - Freeform, no happy ending, tw broken fingers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:01:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28671936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rempow/pseuds/rempow
Summary: An attempt to dig deeper into Toph's POV when Appa is captured in the desert.
Series: Assortment of Avatar Tales [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2072268
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	Losing Appa

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't a happy one, but I hope you enjoy it

The desert is silent. There isn't any breeze ruffling tree leaves or running through the grass. No small animals chittering away, no birds calling from above. Silent. The heat is silent as well, beating down on unprotected skin, neverending waves washing over everything in the desert. 

Toph’s bare feet burned with each step she took, the loose sand blinding her. A slight relief came as she stepped into the sand shaded by the library’s lone parapet, it was slightly cooler. Appa was silent next to her, the heat sapping his energy. She sighed, reaching her free hand towards the sand, trying to bend it. She couldn't hear anything move, didn't feel anything from her feet. For all she knew, she wasn't doing anything. "This sucks," she muttered. Appa rumbled in agreement. Toph and Appa had never been close; riding on him made her feel blind, disoriented, honestly straight-up sick sometimes. She blamed him for Azula tracking them, even though she was right, and she never gave him treats or extra love like Aang, Katara, and Sokka did. She had never really interacted with animals besides the badgermoles; her parents decided they were too dangerous for her. Toph never understood why Aang and the others talked to Appa. The badgermoles communicated using earthbending. She wasn't even sure they could hear. Toph felt herself building up for another sigh. What else could she do? Pushing herself off of the stone, she sat in the sand, feeling the heat soak through her clothes. She crossed her legs and tucked her feet close to keep off of the burning sand. Blowing an irritating strand of hair out of her face, Toph crossed her arms and tilted her head down, keeping the sun from hitting her face. She sat silently, feeling beads of sweat drip down her back, soaking into her shirt. Suddenly, Appa growled, a deep, aggressive tone compared to his usual lows and grumbles. Toph perked up. 

"What is it?" No reply. She felt foolish, talking to the animal. Then, the stone parapet shuddered and began to sink into the sand. "Library sinking. Library sinking!" she yelled, to whom she did not know, jumping towards the parapet. She jammed her fingers into the wall, gasping at the intense pull of the wall. Her feet slipped in the sand and she cursed under her breath, taking her hands away from the wall to flatten out the sand beneath her. Once again, she punched her hands against the wall. Her previous handholds were already buried in the sand. Spirits, what was happening? The rumbling stone overtook her senses, her hands burning as they held the stone from sinking completely into the sand. Appa's growls got even louder, and Toph heard, just over the rumbling of the tower, people speaking. "What's going on?" she called. 

Appa bellowed in anger, and a strong gust of wind washed over her, sand stinging as it whipped her skin. She heard faint voices of men jeering at Appa. "Hey! Leave him alone!" Teeth clenched, she shot one hand back, sand flying up aimlessly. Appa roared, Toph heard ropes snapping and people yelling. The tower shook even harder, and Toph yelped in pain as her grip almost slipped. She had never felt such power before; her fingers felt as if they would be ripped off. The sun beat down on her, the tower shook her, Appa's roar filled her ears. 

I can't save them all. Who do I pick? Aang. the Avatar, destined to bring balance to the world, her student. Sokka. Map guy, plan guy, anything you needed he would work his butt off to give to you. Katara. Waterbender, caretaker, healer. Appa. Their only way out of the desert, Aang's only memory from his past, a smart, gentle creature. Toph felt the bones in her fingers straining, cracking as she tried to push them deeper into the stone. "Hurry up, Twinkle Toes," she whispered through gritted teeth. The people behind her yelled triumphantly, and the beating wind died down. Appa wasn't in the air anymore. She desperately wanted to turn around and take on the men, but she knew if she let go of the tower again it would be gone in a heartbeat. He bellowed once more, and Toph heard the flapping of cloth in the wind, the shifting noise of fur over the sand. His bellows grew quieter. "I'm sorry, Appa." Tears dripped down her cheeks, and her chest burned with sadness. All that was left for her was to grip the stone with all her might. Her hands burned, ached, her whole body felt like it was being pulled towards the tower. Above her, she felt a gust of wind, and she waited to hear Appa's bellow. He must have broken free! Then, she heard Aang's yell as the group tumbled out of the tower onto the sand. The tower slipped from her grasp, the force throwing her back several feet. As she lay on the sand, gasping for breath, all she could feel was the pain radiating from her fingers. More were broken than not. Cradling them, she kept herself turned away from the others. 

Aang spoke the words Toph was dreading. "Where's Appa?" Toph sucked in a shuddering breath, cupping her broken hands over her ears. "Toph? Where’s Appa?" His voice broke, and Toph squeezed her eyes shut. Aang began yelling at her, and reflexively, she yelled back. Still, she knew he was right. It was my fault. Katara soothed Aang, but as Sokka put a hand on Toph's shoulder, she flinched away. Every muscle in her body is sore, weary from holding the parapet from sinking into the Spirit World. 

Katara healed her hands and splinted her fingers gently. Her shocked words tumbled out of her mouth, Oh my goodness Toph your fingers, but Toph welcomed the pain. Her punishment. Aang took off to the air, his anger burned the air around him. Sokka took her wrist and they head off, Katara leading the way. She followed silently. She can't see, can't bend properly, can't help her friends, can’t do anything right. 

They walked for hours, and she felt the sun set. It is darker now, even her eyes can tell. The burning feeling on her skin fades, and cold creeps up. Sokka drank cactus just and was acting strange, babbling and darting around. Toph almost wished she drank it as well, he seemed to be happy, at least. Katara used one hand to grasp Toph's and the other on Sokka, who was still mumbling nonsensically. Aang rejoined them, she flinches when she hears the crisp snap of his glider shutting. When was the last time she felt scared? Of Aang, of all people. Her throat was dry and gritty; Katara's warm, swampy water can’t wash it away. They were lost, stuck in the desert. My fault. They continue walking after a short nap, and her body aches even more from laying immobile. She can barely lift her arms for Katara to take her hand. Suddenly, her toe jams into wood, a boat, she sees, and she falls. Yelling in frustration, she throws her fist at the sand, sending up a small gust of sand. Katara asks her to get the boat out, she can guide them by the stars. Toph's heart soars, I found our way out! Aang mutters that it doesn't matter. Appa isn't there. Her chest feels hollow. My fault. 

As the sandbender ship glides over the sand, a cool breeze flows constantly on her skin, carrying flecks of sand that graze her hands. She doesn't know how long they travel, but they arrive at a strange rock. It felt amazing to have solid ground under her feet. Quickly, the moment is ruined when the earth starts shaking again. Toph's heart seizes for a split second. Were they all sinking again? This time, buzzard wasps come out, invisible to her except for the loud buzz of their beating wings. They make the air shake around them, the buzzing almost taking over her hearing. Sokka places a hand on her shoulder and yells above the noise, focusing her. He directs her to throw chunks of rock into the air. They fight off the swarm, but then the sandbenders arrive. Toph recognizes one of the men's voices. "He said to put a muzzle on Appa!" she cried, and the air around them changed. Aang raises his voice, Toph had never heard that before. The air grows thick, sand begins to whip everywhere, Aang's voice begins to echo, a thousand voices with his. Sokka grabs her and tugs her backward. She hears the wind blow in a strange way, seeming to circle. Sand scratches her cheeks, and she shudders. This must be Aang's Avatar State. What if he directed that power at me? I let them steal Appa. My fault. She shakes, and Sokka’s grip on her tightens, she feels him wrapping around her in an attempt to shield her from the sand. Katara calls out to Aang, and slowly, the wind dies down, the air returns to its normal, hot, empty, silent state. The sandbenders offer a way out of the desert, but Toph doesn’t feel any excitement from it. She caught herself flinching again when Aang's voice drew near her. However, this time, his voice was teary, empty, weary. No, she didn't need to be afraid of him. Appa being gone broke him. She broke him. As they ride out of the desert, the silence filled Aang and his company.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if the tenses weren't sounding right to you guys, I switched between past and present at the ending.


End file.
